Frustration

I’m here sitting trying to concentrate and study but it seems I can’t. Usually it doesn’t take more than a minute for me to memorize something but it seems to take a little longer. I can’t concentrate because there’s a distraction. I can’t concentrate because I have this feeling of frustration bubbling inside me for no apparent reason and this causes me to be very irritated at every little thing, even over someone elses' voice or talking. It’s disturbing my study time! I tried to have a break, even lasting for two hours and I’m still so frustrated. Even when I try to get back to my studying through force if the break thing didn’t work, my brain couldn’t function well.

Ugh… this is stupid. My test is in two days and I haven’t covered two out of three topics. Usually the thought of having a test by fearing because one could not do it or is not ready but that’s never my problem, I’m never insecure nor anxious about a test anymore.

Nuts, I don’t know what to do or what’s wrong with me today. I feel so off and I can’t figure out why or what caused it. DAMN IT, WHAT’S WRONG WITH ME? I wish I have a treadmill so I can run my troubles away or at least get my mind of whatever is brewing a storm in it.

….

Maybe… it’s because I haven’t had my time of the month for more than a month already which is screwing up and unbalancing my hormones like crazy. Or... this just came to my mind as i type, i know today is the rehearsel for the convocation event and i just realize it shouldve been my graduation rehearsel if i didnt screw up 2 years ago. Maybe... thats the reason im feeling so frustrated even the thought of it didnt stew in my mind.

*long frustrated sigh* whatever. Shouldn't i be proud that by making up for that, i recently develop higher merits to distinctions. Hmph.

I can’t believe in fifteen minutes, it’ll be 5 PM, last I saw the freaking clock, it was 10 AM. Ugh, I hate time being so fast without my awareness. Anyways, I better go and try to concentrate. Trying my best is just an excuse I’m not trying hard enough and is for lazy people, in my opinion.

I'm just gonna take a long cold shower, bloody heat is frying me alive.

I hope tomorrow would be a good day for me. Goodbye, cruel Wednesday.