Well now, it has been... seven months since i have written anything? All i can say is i had no internet access except in my android phone.
A lot has happened for these several months i do not think i can sum up into one blog nor in a paragraph, as usual.
All i can say is, i lost friends and i gain better friends but that's a roller coaster i've been riding on lately and trying not to make it repetitive.
Second, the things i have been facing lately has not only worsened but have forced me to be more... urgent in terms of finding a job. Currently i am working part time only because i am afraid that at least maybe one of the job openings i have approached will offer me a job. If i can, i would like to work two to three jobs.
Since the realization i am supporting myself, tending to my expenses and so forth, i need every cent. I'm not joking.
This is a good thing for me, i guess. I have to look on the positive side because i have to. I also cannot express how much gratitude i have for those who have helped and be there in my time of need as of this late.
To be honest, i have always been doing stuff by myself because i am too self reliant growing up. I have learn that it is better to rely on oneself than others especially when the guilt for me is overwhelming, I do not like taking advantage on other people's generosity. I know i have so many people advising me the same advice that i really need to start realizing that when i should receive help and when i should take it.
I know when people try to reach out for me, i always reject it or distance myself afterwards. I am aware of that. I guess the stuff i have been experiencing growing up with so many bad experiences that outweighs the good ones has helped me be a little... i dont know whats the word to use to describe it... i guess i'm so tired of being hurt, its better i distance myself from things that has the potential to destroy me slowly.
Its just... i'm tired to risk anything much anymore. Anyways, i have to end it here.
Until next time.
Goodbye Saturday.
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